The beginning

In September of 2008 I went to the doctor’s office for my yearly pap test. Two weeks later I received a phone call telling me that my test had shown cancer cells and that I would need further examination. At the end of September I was scheduled for a colposcopy with biopsy to determine what stage my cancer was at. This first diagnosis was very scary for me. I had no idea what this all meant and what I had to look forward too. Lucky for me I have an excellent doctor and she made sure that I did not have any long waiting periods.

In early October I went for my colposcopy, my doctor biopsied several areas of my cervix that showed the abnormal cells. When I left the office that day I had an appointment to return in 10 days to go over the results. Those were probably the longest 10 days of my life. It was hard to concentrate on anything, it was at this time I decided to research my disease. My doctor did not have a lot of answers for me at that time but I wanted to be prepared for what I might have to go through.

On October 20 I went for my results. My cancer was stage IB2 which meant that it was an invasive cancer, involving the cervix only, and was larger that 4cm. My doctor had already gone over the results with the gynecologist and they determined that I needed surgery. I was scheduled with an appointment to see the gynecologist the very next day as they did not want to wait. My cancer was completely through the lining of the cervix and the next step would be metastisis to another organ.

The gynecologist was very nice. She explained that she was going to do what was called a conization and remove the lining of my cervix. She also explained that they used to do hysterectomies for this level of cancer but studies had shown that if the cancer came back it had no place to go but to another organ so the procedure was to now be conservative. My surgery was scheduled for the following Monday. I was sent immediately to the hospital for all my pre-surgery testing.I was scared when I left the doctor’s office.

I was angry, in disbelief and basically wondering what was going to happen to me now. Many questions went through my head. Would they get it all? Would I even survive the surgery? If they do get it all will it come back? I was now realizing that no matter how many people you deal with in your life that have cancer, unless you actually get the diagnosis yourself there is no way that you can understand all the emotional stress that someone goes through. Luckily for me I have a wonderfully supportive family who tried to keep me busy and my mind off of things until my surgery.

On the morning of my surgery I went to the hospital. I refused to let my husband go with me, I wanted to deal with it myself. There was really nothing he could do for me, he would just be sitting around driving himself crazy from the waiting.

The second scariest thing in my life happened while I was being prepped for surgery. The anesthesiologist came to talk to me and she wanted to know about my cirrhosis. I told her I did not have cirrhosis. Her comment back to me was that it is in my chart and she would have to go look at my files to see where it came from. At that point they gave me medication to calm me down and although I knew the gynecologist was there I was pretty much unable to talk with her. The last thing I remember was being wheeled down the hall through a maze of construction workers and saying to the nurses that I bet they would be happy when the construction was over.

I vaguely remember my gynecologist telling me the surgery was over and they were pretty sure they got it all. The next thing I really remember was waking up with a nurse sitting beside my bed asking me if I was ready to try to eat something. I told her I was and I asked if they got all the cancer. She stated that she was pretty sure they had. Once I had eaten something they called my mother-in-law who was waiting to pick me up. They walked me out to the back door where she was waiting and I was on my way to the pharmacy to get pain medication. When I finally got home I was exhausted but in too much pain to sleep.

Being the stubborn person that I am I actually went to my step-son’s last junior varsity football game at 6 p.m. that night. I usually walk back and forth at these games but I had to sit in the bleachers that night. At least I got to see it!

The next two weeks were the worst of my life. Everything finally hit me and I suffered through a terrible depression. I slept most of the day, I was awake half the night, I could not eat, I could not concentrate and I had no desire to even do daily functions like showering and getting dressed. My doctor told me this was normal as I had not had time to accept the whole idea of having cancer things had moved along to fast.

One week after surgery I had a follow up appointment with the gynecologist and even her good news was unable to bring me out of my depressed state. She told me they were 95 percent sure they got it all. The test they did on the remaining cervical cells showed no sign of the cancer. I was going to have to take it easy for another 5 weeks and then have one more post surgery follow up to make sure everything was healing correctly.

Finally I was able to pull myself together and get back to my schoolwork. My instructors had been very good to me in letting me extend time frames for when work was due. As I finished my research paper, I just had my last post surgery follow up. Everything has healed well, and now it is on to testing every three months for the next two years to make sure my cancer is gone and does not come back. I have to take vitamins everyday to boost my immune system, I am in the process of quitting smoking. I need to get my body healthier so I can fight off this virus.