Had my test today

Well I had my 3 month post surgery cancer check today. My Dr. seems very positive and believes that my test will be normal. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm not going to hold my breath or jump for joy until I know for sure. The test results will be back in a week or two. She did put me on an antibiotic as a precaution because my cervix seems to be a little more tender than it should be at this point and I've been having some pain in my lower right side. She thinks I may have some sort of irritation or infection. Better to be safe than sorry I guess.
Sunday night through yesterday morning we had a snowstorm from hell. I know we got at least two feet and I'm thinking it was a bit more than that. Was hard to tell in the blizzard conditions that were going on early yesterday morning. Now they are talking rain for Friday and more snow Sunday and Monday of next week. Gotta love winter, thank god it's almost over.

A Dose Of Reality

British reality TV star battles cancer on camera

By JENNIFER QUINN, Associated Press Writer Jennifer Quinn, Associated Press Writer Thu Feb 19, 5:32 pm ET

LONDON – A brash British reality show star whose ups and downs captivated the nation is approaching her death the same way she has lived — on television.

Dying of cervical cancer that has spread to her liver and bowels, 27-year-old Jade Goody sees no reason to turn the cameras off now.

Her first foray into the spotlight was in 2002, when she lost at strip poker on Britain's version of "Big Brother." She went on to write her autobiography, star in fitness videos, release a perfume and appear on "Celebrity Big Brother," where she was accused of racism and bullying a Bollywood star, Shilpa Shetty.

To make amends, she went to India last summer to star in its version of "Big Brother." It was there — in a shocking diagnosis captured on television — that she found out about her cancer.

Bald and pale from chemotherapy, pictures of Goody have since been daily fodder in the British press. She says the publicity and profits made from selling her story will help her sons, 4-year-old Freddie and 5-year-old Bobby Jack, and raise awareness of cervical cancer.

On Thursday, a television show documented the weeks before she learned she only has months to live. On Sunday, the cameras will roll at her wedding to 21-year-old boyfriend, Jack Tweed — recently released from prison after serving time for assault and wearing an electronic monitor. Goody will take her vows in a designer dress donated by Harrods owner, Mohamed Al Fayed.

While neither are scheduled to air in the U.S., video clips of her wedding shopping spree and cancer battle — including one where she breaks into sobs as she stares at her balding head in her bathroom mirror — have been widely viewed on YouTube. Photos of the nuptials are to be printed in OK! magazine, which along with television deals are believed to have earned Goody $1.4 million.

Her actual death is not expected to be televised or photographed, her publicist said.

"People will say I'm doing this for money," Goody told the Sun tabloid earlier this month. "And they're right. I am, but not to buy flash cars or big houses. It's for my sons' future."

Some have said Goody should spend time with her family rather than staying in the spotlight. But most have also praised her commitment to her sons and her effort to draw attention to the need for regular Pap smears, which can catch cervical cancer in its early, treatable stages.

"I may have questioned the wisdom of Jade treating the media as confidantes in her final days," wrote Allison Pearson in the conservative Daily Mail. "But I have nothing but respect for her decision to accumulate enough money for the boys to enjoy the very best education."

The media, who are now so firmly in Goody's corner, were not always so kind. She was ridiculed for being vulgar, uneducated and crass; even after her cancer diagnosis, it was suggested she was capitalizing on her illness to regain the public's affection.

From the beginning, Goody's tortured childhood provided kindling for reality TV. She grew up in a tough part of London, the daughter of drug users. Her father, who served time in prison, died from a drug overdose.

With her in-your-face attitude and willingness to share the tawdriest details of her life, the buxom brunette both fascinated and repelled Britain. Her lack of education sometimes made her an object of ridicule, such as when she asked where the English region of East Anglia — less than a two-hour drive from London — is located, and pronounced it "East Angular."

"She's a kind of product of our time," said her publicist Max Clifford. "I suppose, when I started out, it was all about talent, but Jade was the one who proved that you don't need to have talent to be someone in Britain today. She's famous for just being herself."

There was admiration, even from the prime minister, for Goody's sheer determination to make a better life for herself.

"It's very sad and indeed tragic that someone so young has got this deadly disease of cancer and it's very sad indeed that the treatment that has been given has not been successful," Gordon Brown said Wednesday at his monthly news conference.

"I think everyone has their own ways of dealing with these problems and her determination to help her family is something that we've got to applaud," he said. "I wish her well and I wish her family well and I think the whole country will be worried and anxious about her health."

The Guardian newspaper — which appeals to the left-leaning intelligentsia — weighed in on Goody's decision to publicize her impending death, praising her for confronting her mortality.

"The ostentatious rituals of mourning and public graveyards of earlier eras are not part of modern life," it said in an editorial. "Today, mortality is as finite as before, but has somehow been marginalized."

In Bermondsey, the neighborhood near London Bridge where Goody grew up, residents still consider her one of their own. Nearly all support her choice to stay in the spotlight.

"She's like one of us. We all feel for her. It's not fair," said 40-year-old Janine Stacy, a special education teacher. "It's totally her choice."

Clifford said that Goody may consider doing other deals after the wedding. "We are in discussions to do a final documentary ... She's very keen to do it, providing she's well enough," he said.

___

Associated Press Writer Dean Carson contributed to this report.

3 Days and Counting

I suppose there is something to say for getting sick. Breathing has been so difficult that I haven't had a smoke in 3 days. Guess my lungs are telling me enough is enough. I look at it this way, I'm sick enough to not want to smoke so I really won't care about nicotine withdrawal. Hopefully by the time I'm well enough to care I won't have the cravings anymore. Hubby is going through the same thing. With both of us going through it I suppose at this point in time the most positive thing is we haven't killed each other yet. I needed to quit anyway, I read in all my research that some part of nicotine sits in the cervix, not a very good thing when you already have cancer.

The big test is just a few days away. Then its sit and wait patiently for the results. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. Perhaps health-wise this will turn out to be a good year for me. Quitting smoking is definately a step in the right direction.

COLDS AND THE FLU

One has to really love Maine winters. First its below zero, then its in the 50s. Wonderful weather for growing those nice cold and flu bugs. We have all been sick. My stepson started out being sick Thursday with some sort of stomach flu. That kept him out of school for Thursday and Friday. He is now much better but somewhere along the line hubby and I have come down with really bad colds. Sleep has been hard to come by, once you lay down the coughing begins. Well I'm sure most of you know that story. It's been a few days since this started so I'm with hopes that it will be over soon. Thank god its school vacation week for my step-son and I, at least there is time to rest. On another note, it was warm today mid 30's and is going to be warm again tomorrow, then guess what, tomorrow night brings yet another snow storm. This one is suppose to hit us with at least a foot of snow, with the possibility of 18 inches. Geeez... Is spring ever going to get here???????

A Typical Maine Sunday

Well here it is a Sunday in Maine in February. It was kind of warm today in the mid 30's but the wind was rather brisk. Unless you are an avid skier or snowmobiler there isn't much to do. Winter just isn't as fun as it was when I was a kid. Then I didn't mind the cold and stayed outside for hours on end.
On a good note though, my mammogram came back normal!!! One less health issue to be worried about. One more test to go, hopefully that will have good results as well. We shall see....

Waiting

Well it's now February 5th. On February 24th I go for my three month cancer check. I survived finishing the semester with 3 A's and 2 B's. Considering everything that happened in the middle of the semester I guess I can't complain. I'm now in my fourth week of the new semester, overwhelmed with 5 classes again!!! School is good for me though it takes my mind off of everything else that is going on. On another note I had an abnormal mammogram 6 months ago, although the couldn't really determine how abnormal because it was my first one. Lucky me, I had a repeat one on Tuesday and now I'm trying to wait patiently for the results. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on the whole thing. With any luck both tests with come back with good results!! Thats what I'm hoping for anyways.

The beginning

In September of 2008 I went to the doctor’s office for my yearly pap test. Two weeks later I received a phone call telling me that my test had shown cancer cells and that I would need further examination. At the end of September I was scheduled for a colposcopy with biopsy to determine what stage my cancer was at. This first diagnosis was very scary for me. I had no idea what this all meant and what I had to look forward too. Lucky for me I have an excellent doctor and she made sure that I did not have any long waiting periods.

In early October I went for my colposcopy, my doctor biopsied several areas of my cervix that showed the abnormal cells. When I left the office that day I had an appointment to return in 10 days to go over the results. Those were probably the longest 10 days of my life. It was hard to concentrate on anything, it was at this time I decided to research my disease. My doctor did not have a lot of answers for me at that time but I wanted to be prepared for what I might have to go through.

On October 20 I went for my results. My cancer was stage IB2 which meant that it was an invasive cancer, involving the cervix only, and was larger that 4cm. My doctor had already gone over the results with the gynecologist and they determined that I needed surgery. I was scheduled with an appointment to see the gynecologist the very next day as they did not want to wait. My cancer was completely through the lining of the cervix and the next step would be metastisis to another organ.

The gynecologist was very nice. She explained that she was going to do what was called a conization and remove the lining of my cervix. She also explained that they used to do hysterectomies for this level of cancer but studies had shown that if the cancer came back it had no place to go but to another organ so the procedure was to now be conservative. My surgery was scheduled for the following Monday. I was sent immediately to the hospital for all my pre-surgery testing.I was scared when I left the doctor’s office.

I was angry, in disbelief and basically wondering what was going to happen to me now. Many questions went through my head. Would they get it all? Would I even survive the surgery? If they do get it all will it come back? I was now realizing that no matter how many people you deal with in your life that have cancer, unless you actually get the diagnosis yourself there is no way that you can understand all the emotional stress that someone goes through. Luckily for me I have a wonderfully supportive family who tried to keep me busy and my mind off of things until my surgery.

On the morning of my surgery I went to the hospital. I refused to let my husband go with me, I wanted to deal with it myself. There was really nothing he could do for me, he would just be sitting around driving himself crazy from the waiting.

The second scariest thing in my life happened while I was being prepped for surgery. The anesthesiologist came to talk to me and she wanted to know about my cirrhosis. I told her I did not have cirrhosis. Her comment back to me was that it is in my chart and she would have to go look at my files to see where it came from. At that point they gave me medication to calm me down and although I knew the gynecologist was there I was pretty much unable to talk with her. The last thing I remember was being wheeled down the hall through a maze of construction workers and saying to the nurses that I bet they would be happy when the construction was over.

I vaguely remember my gynecologist telling me the surgery was over and they were pretty sure they got it all. The next thing I really remember was waking up with a nurse sitting beside my bed asking me if I was ready to try to eat something. I told her I was and I asked if they got all the cancer. She stated that she was pretty sure they had. Once I had eaten something they called my mother-in-law who was waiting to pick me up. They walked me out to the back door where she was waiting and I was on my way to the pharmacy to get pain medication. When I finally got home I was exhausted but in too much pain to sleep.

Being the stubborn person that I am I actually went to my step-son’s last junior varsity football game at 6 p.m. that night. I usually walk back and forth at these games but I had to sit in the bleachers that night. At least I got to see it!

The next two weeks were the worst of my life. Everything finally hit me and I suffered through a terrible depression. I slept most of the day, I was awake half the night, I could not eat, I could not concentrate and I had no desire to even do daily functions like showering and getting dressed. My doctor told me this was normal as I had not had time to accept the whole idea of having cancer things had moved along to fast.

One week after surgery I had a follow up appointment with the gynecologist and even her good news was unable to bring me out of my depressed state. She told me they were 95 percent sure they got it all. The test they did on the remaining cervical cells showed no sign of the cancer. I was going to have to take it easy for another 5 weeks and then have one more post surgery follow up to make sure everything was healing correctly.

Finally I was able to pull myself together and get back to my schoolwork. My instructors had been very good to me in letting me extend time frames for when work was due. As I finished my research paper, I just had my last post surgery follow up. Everything has healed well, and now it is on to testing every three months for the next two years to make sure my cancer is gone and does not come back. I have to take vitamins everyday to boost my immune system, I am in the process of quitting smoking. I need to get my body healthier so I can fight off this virus.